Ghosts Of The Past
by AngelOfBlackBlood
Summary: Sometimes we just have to let things go.


**Author's Note: This is using the team prompt of Draco Malfoy with the action Sleeping. I don't own anything you recognise. **

Sunlight, the very thing that provides life to every living thing upon this earth. Each day the sun would shine, lighting up the various shades of shocking reds and bright blues that laced the garden in an endless random pattern. The gentle glow warming my skin as I sat for hours reading amongst the violent colours.

Stormy nights contrasted with these bright days. The skies would fill with an unwelcome greyness, obscuring the sprinkle of stars that were now very rarely seen. It was nights like these when I would sit in my comfy worn armchair and stare out of the ceiling to floor window occupying the southern wall of my small country retreat.

The darkness of the night was a challenge for me without the looming presence of another storm. But despite all my prayers, the storms still raged, at least one every other day. This meant that sleep was becoming more of an idea than a reality and my life began to revolve around the promise of a few hours rest, only available when the sun was gone and there were no oppressive clouds forming an airtight seal above the little valley I now call home.

I suppose you're probably wondering what I mean by the night being a challenge, the answer is simple really. Nightmares. My once silver lined dreams are now plagued with black shadows and the memories of extended wands and flying curses. As you can imagine the storms only add to the already dreadful visions I glimpse behind closed eyes.

My bright garden often turns into an endless maze from which I cannot escape, the red flowers dripping a crimson liquid that looks an awful lot like blood. The warmth that usually caresses my pale skin begins to burn as my world slowly begins to unravel, the dark shadows that the storm clouds cast beginning to morph into the even darker figures of my past.

Recently the lack of sleep had become so much that I had begun to drift off while surrounded by the golden embrace of the sun. I would awaken with a start, usually to the shrill cry of some common bird or the echoing thud my book would make as it slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor. Even in the sunlight my dreams were not particularly pleasant. The orange glow that surrounded me tended to make me dream of fire, and the disastrous effects it once had in the room of requirement.

No matter what I did or tried sleep would never come peacefully, but some nights were definitely better than others.

* * *

The lake stretched out in front of me, its glass-like surface reflecting the nearly full moon. A gentle breeze floated through the air, rustling my clothes as if it was trying to calmly persuade me to move. Slowly, I turned, expecting to see my old school in a state of destruction; what I was actually faced with surprised me. It was Hogwarts, but not half destroyed like I had expected it to be. Instead it was Hogwarts as I had first seen it, complete and grand with the impressing ability to tower above you and make you feel insignificantly small.

The castle radiated warmth, all its windows emitting a soft glow much like a candle. I slowly began to walk toward the entrance. A nervous feeling had settled itself in the pit of my stomach; I had not been back here since the day of the battle.

My pace was slow; I hadn't had a nice dream in a long while and I was fully expecting this one to end in some sort of painful event. I cautiously approached the Great Hall. I had a feeling that whatever lay beyond this doorway would set up the sequence of events for the rest of this dream or nightmare.

I wasn't wrong.

Beyond the doorway, the Great Hall was set up just how I remembered it. The four long house tables didn't appear to have moved an inch; candles gently floated through the air, the flames dancing in the whisper of a breeze that echoed around the room.

I had expected the hall to be empty, but it wasn't. At the very end of the room stood a dark figure, their head was tilted forward so that their face was hidden. Black greasy hair fell against their shoulders, obscuring any view of their face even further.

But it didn't matter; I would have known that hair anywhere. It was Snape. Snape who had given his life, like so many other innocent and good people, in an attempt to stop the dark lord from succeeding in his evil quest.

I never had the chance to thank him for all he had tried to do for me, and now here he was stood in front of me, even if this was only a dream.

I was frozen; I couldn't bring myself to take another step forward. Snape decided that then would be a good time to move; perhaps he heard the frantic thumping of my heart. He lifted his head and his cool gaze came to rest on me. Even from this far away I could tell his gaze was still as sharp and cold as ever.

I remained frozen to the floor. I couldn't take any of what was happening in, and I still expected a bad memory to emerge from the shadows. Snape began to walk towards me, his cloak billowing behind him just like it had in life.

He stopped a few paces away from me; from this distance it was obvious that there were a few differences, his skin had a grey tone to it that hadn't been present before, his eyes also appeared to be slightly glazed over as if he was looking without truly seeing. He wore a smile that pulled at his ashen lips, his smiles had been rare when he was alive but now seemed to be a natural response.

"Hello Draco, I've been expecting you." His voice rang across the hall, bouncing off the walls. The smile didn't leave his face.

"You have?" My question only made his smile stretch further.

"Yes Draco. I have come to show you something that I hope will help you."

I felt one of my eyebrows lift, my curiosity began to get the better of me before I realised that this was only a dream and pretty soon I would be alone again with only my nightmares for company.

"Oh no Draco, that is where you are wrong. This is not just a dream." My shock must have been written on my face because soon a low chuckle could be heard, and the only one around here to make the noise was Snape.

"What do you mean this is not only a dream?" Shrugging off my confusion at Snape's new ability to read my mind I instead focused on what he had said.

Snape did nothing but turn away from me slightly, glancing at the empty tables that surrounded us.

"You carry a lot of grief and guilt around with you everywhere Draco; such amounts of either emotion are not healthy." Snape's gaze had become even more distant as he continued to stare at the tables.

"You blame yourself for so much that wasn't within your power to stop." By now the floating candles above us had begun to go out, leaving the hall veiled in shadows and a grey colour not unlike that of Snape's skin.

"I still don't understand." My voice broke through Snape's thoughts and brought his attention back to me.

"Their deaths were not your fault Draco." Snape's eyes cleared of their glazed look and became clear.

"What are you talking about?" My voice came out in a shallow whisper.

"Look around you Draco, look closely." I followed his orders and sure enough outlines that look vaguely human began to appear, all sitting at the tables.

I tried to focus on the faces further and with some effort the details began to appear. Everyone I had known that had died in the war appeared before me. I continued to stare and the ghosts of people I had once know stared straight back. All their faces held small smiles as if they didn't blame me for anything that had happened to them.

My eyes hovered around the ghost belonging to Fred Weasley; he was seated next to one of the old defence against the dark arts teachers Remus Lupin. A little further down the table sat one of the main reasons for my nightmares. He still had his long grey beard and his glasses were balanced carefully on the tip of his nose. Even though I had not been the one to cast the curse on Dumbledore, I still hadn't done anything to stop his death and yet he still sat there smiling at me.

"This is why you can't be at peace Draco; you have been holding onto the past for far too long. No one here blames you for their deaths. We are finally at peace. Let them go Draco, let me go."

My gaze snapped back to Snape just as he began fading away. Glancing back around the hall I discovered the walls had begun to dissolve and all the other ghosts had begun to fade.

I woke with a start, sitting straight up in my armchair. I considered what I had learnt in my dream that hadn't actually been a dream and decided on what would be best to do next…...and then I let them go. I banished all thoughts of their deaths away and instead focused on their smiling faces in the hall. I tried to stop blaming myself for everything. It took some time; it was never going to be easy.

But eventually I moved on and soon after I was able to sleep again. I was finally at peace just like the ghosts of my past.


End file.
